Former England captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet confront the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the illness.
"There's a certain looking the future in the face and hesitating to really process that at the moment," he commented.
"It isn't that I don't understand where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a reluctance to face what's ahead for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his current wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the disease worsens.
"Maybe that's shock or maybe I deal with matters differently, and after I have the details, it's more manageable," he continued.
First Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the problem, a series of scans indicated nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately extremely emotional about it, but it's so strange because I sense that everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't sense unwell. I don't feel unwell
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I'm still able to doing all activities. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Condition Progression
MND can develop swiftly.
Based on the organization MND Association, the condition takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and over half within 24 months of diagnosis, as eating and breathing become more difficult.
Treatment can only slow worsening.
"It's never me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"There's sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Talking from the family home with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overcome with sentiment when he spoke about informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was pretty heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog bounded over and began licking the drops off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody said the emphasis was being in the now.
"We have no cure and that is why you have to be very strongly directed on just accepting and savoring everything now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been very fortunate that the primary decision I made when I concluded playing was to devote as much time with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Athlete Link
Top-level competitors are disproportionately impacted by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the illness is up to six times greater than in the broader public.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 available and causing harm to motor neurone cells, frequent, vigorous physical activity can activate the illness in those already vulnerable.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in honour of his courageous, unwavering approach to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a workout scuffle with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a training equipment and started participating in tackles.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive moment of play, creating a platform for scrum-half Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning field goal.
Backing Community
Moody has already told Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a couple of other former players about his condition, but the rest will be discovering his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that type of love and recognition that people are present is the crucial thing," he commented.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it finished now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to call your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the most important privileges.
"To have done it for so long a period with the groups that I did it with was a joy. And I am aware they will want to help in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
